Updated: Oct 6, 2019
When we are ready to truly connect, we are diving deep into a subconscious soup to unlearn Traps that have kept us from self, separated from others and decided in spirit.
Welcome to the traps and labels that keep us in mental slavery and your courage to open up today.
Ever wonder if your self image is really yours? Ever wonder your expectations are really what is in your heart? Join us to explore more.
One of the most common traps in all kind of relations are Expectations and Stereotypes.
What is going on behind the scenes? What is going inside and your unconscious. Who and what is driving you?
We always have expectations, but if you ask often we don’t know. They influence and manipulated us behind the scenes.
Recently, when I asked participants about their gender identity, if it is their truths, all of them answered influence. In other words, we don’t really know, what is going on.
Let’s look at self.
What are your expectations of your relationship with self? Are they based in your external needs? What are your expectations about your identity? As a man, a woman, a son, a daughter, an employee, an entrepreneur?
Are you wearing a tight suit, based on identity traps, stereotypes and expectations of the ‘external world’?
Are these expectations you? Who do belong to? Who are you following? Your school, your parents, your boss, the TV?
Did you ever wonder who created all these traps of expectations, stereotypes and identities? Who told us we need to fit into these patterns?
Recently, I read that there are about 7.000 possibilities of gender, and a speaker on a conference listed about 7 or 8 points of physical influences on our gender determine gender, so making all sense. And, we live in a world of having to identify with very defined and ridged model?
Now, this only gender. What are the expectations that you have of yourself? Whose expectations are they? Whose stereotype are you following? Are you truly resonating from your heart or is it who you think you need to be or want to be in the world?
Maybe what we are expecting of self is not realistic, as we are may not this. Ramana Maharashi, a Advaita Vedanta Guru, (Non-Duality), builds his whole teachings on ‘Who am I’? Without illusion, expectations, identity and stereotypes.
As we recognise the traps, there may not be expectations but only self-inquiry, actualisation and realisation.
Imagine, the stress and pressure you leave behind, when you just connect to You, your parts and your whole.
Let’s look at our Beloved
When you enter relationship or sex therapy, the first question is really should be: What are your Expectations of each other?
In that process, we often recognise that we have some wild unconscious phantasies that we are trying to force onto our Beloved.
When we dive into expectations it is quite interested what influences us unconsciously, a movie, our parents or relatives, and of course the hegemonic stereotypes and identities that have a hold on us and the way we show up, as well what we project on our partners.
You can of course enter a hermeneutic mapof releasing your expectations and self in a relationship and the significant other on your own.
You would start that process by looking at your pre-understanding, ask what are your relational expectations of self and your beloved. Then you could enter an inquiry, asking where these expectations come from? What stereotypes and identities, often binary, absolute and of course hegemonic are driving your expectations of self and your beloved. In a dialoguewith self what is really you’re your truths and what is external influences. You could then engage in an experiencetogether to let go of what is not yours, like story writing and sharing with your beloved, and in this case, burning it after. This is one way of course there are many others. Now you could bring your new horizons andnew understandingtogether and figure out what is your truths without unconscious influences. You may still have some expectations of self and the other, but you will have let go of the false identities and stereotypes that are not yours. And your expectations may be more ‘nice to have’ than expectations.
In general, we would apply the same hermeneutic map in an organisational context, or many of our other instruments.
Recognising traps and freeing self, your love relationship or organisations from stereotypes and identities that are actually not you is a truly extraordinary and exquisite transformation, as you no longer are part of a matrix that does not fit you.
The real excitement however starts when we begin to sense and getting to know our true connections and resonance. The surprises are simply spectacular and based in critical thinking and free choice.
You could also enjoy our Retreats and RelationalRhythms Programs and much more than this.